Grandpa

Its been 6 years since my grandpa has passed on. I remembered the things he used to do for me. Growing up, i guess i was really a spoilt brat. Nonetheless, grandpa loved me with everything that he knew how. Growing up, both my parents work. Hence i was always sent to my grandparents to be looked after during the day. Back in the 80s, schools were mostly single session.

I remembered that a typical day would involve me being brought to my grandparents home. Grandpa will bring me for a hearty breakfast. He will always order minced pork noodles for himself, as well as 2 half boiled eggs with toast and a cup of tea for me. After which grandpa will bring me to find grandma and we would go back home together.

Being the little kid that i was back than, (think pri 1 or 2) I would pester my grandpa for those coin rides or toys. He would always give in to me. Thinking back, it must have meant alot to him, considering the fact that he was already retired and not working.

Back at home, he would always seat down on the bed with his chinese news papers or with a mirror and attempt to pluck his whiskers. It amused me no end as i always loved to mimic him much to his irritation.

When annoyed, grandpa would scold me, once his back was turned, i would make fun of him.

Grandpa lived in a very different world from me. In his time, he saw the world war and the occupation of Singapore by the Japanese. He was originally from china, and he worked very hard to support his family. One of his brothers was even run over by a Japanese Tank while picking up scrapes of food for the household. His was a world of hard work, toil and sweat. He tried hard to fit into my life. A world whereby computers, tv and mass communication flourished.

It was extremely hard for him, yet he did so, so as to identify with me. You see, grandpa was deaf.

Thinking back, grandpa always wanted to live to a ripe old age of 100 yrs old. A task which he tried with all his might. He wanted to see his grand children get married. Sadly grandpa passed away at the age of 82 in Nov 2006.

The last few days were the hardest for me to see him. To see a man reduced to skin and bones. His liver and kidneys had failed. As such, the toxicity in his blood had reached a all time high and was confusing him. On his death bed, we were unable to feed him water. To do so would prolong his suffering and cause him more pain.

It was difficult to see the man who cared for me in such a manner. But Grandpa held on. He waited for all his children and grand children to gather by his side, but still, he would not go.

Everytime when we are around, grandpa's heart beat and pulse would remain steady and constant. But when we are not there, his pulse would steady weaken. Perhaps it was his promise to us that he wanted to live to a hundred. Perhaps he just didn't want to live us behind just yet.. But we knew that he had to go. His time was up.

And we decided, my mum, being his closest and eldest daughter told him to leave. And as we exited his room silently. And when no one was watching, grandpa left.

6 years has gone by. I had taught the pain would have lessen. As i type this now, my tears still come unbiddingly.

I still miss him.