Story..

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who loved to find out about things. His curiosity was such, that in quest to learn more he did many things. Reading, Learning about music, computers, sports, studies, he did them all.

Some he excelled in, some he did not, nonetheless, he tried his best in all that he did.

One day, as he was on his way home from school, he came upon a scene. He was at the bus stop when he saw an elderly couple crossing the road. The old couple held on to each other as they crossed the road. It was an interesting scene, something about it that made him wonder. An older student who sat next to him exclaimed: "Wow, at that age, they still cared so much about each other."

It was at that moment, that the little boy though to himself. Caring for each other? Who loved more?

As he went home that day, he pondered and wondered, finally he concluded.

Who is happier? To love, or to be loved?

To that end, the little boy kept that question at the bottom of his heart and went about doing his own things.

Time went by swiftly. Days turned into weeks, weeks spun into months, months fly by into years..

The little boy was older now, and for his first time, he met some friends. They spent alot of wonderful times together. Short, but sweet. He fell in love, and though things were not meant to be, he was in love.

As quickly as it begun, she put an abrupt stop to their friendship. She was of a different class it seemed, she was smarter and richer and sometimes, life just isn't fair.

He cried.

For the first time in his life.

It hurt. And he thought to himself, does love hurt so?


Who is happier? To love, or to be loved?

Time came and quickly gone by.

He met another in the same school. She was younger by 2 years. They spent many a night on the phone, laughing and joking and having a great time. Friendship blossomed into love so he though..

And like all things that happens too quickly, she had to go.. you see, she was not from the same place as the boy. And as her departure date drew closer, he went into a frenzy, calling her, talking to her. And she in return, wrote a small dairy for him. Within she used her favorite stickers, his photos and many other objects which they will remember them by and kept it all inside.

A memory of their past times together.

And then, the day came.. and she left.

For a awhile, the boy was once again heartbroken. Again his little heart was shattered.

He made calls to her overseas..

but time and distance had a way of killing things..

and while she maintained her feelings. He couldn't and wouldn't.

And he met her close friend, and fell for her..

Things were wonderful for a time..

This time round, others came into the picture.

"she is not good for you, they said.. "

"she will pull you away.. they said"

And he believed them.

He left her, a broken girl.

More than she ever know, he was himself shattered within.

Who is happier? To love, or to be loved?

Perhaps, he will never find true love, he thought to himself. The path of true love never did run smooth. He thought..

Is it so hard?

Maybe.. time will tell..

To be continued..

Grandpa

Its been 6 years since my grandpa has passed on. I remembered the things he used to do for me. Growing up, i guess i was really a spoilt brat. Nonetheless, grandpa loved me with everything that he knew how. Growing up, both my parents work. Hence i was always sent to my grandparents to be looked after during the day. Back in the 80s, schools were mostly single session.

I remembered that a typical day would involve me being brought to my grandparents home. Grandpa will bring me for a hearty breakfast. He will always order minced pork noodles for himself, as well as 2 half boiled eggs with toast and a cup of tea for me. After which grandpa will bring me to find grandma and we would go back home together.

Being the little kid that i was back than, (think pri 1 or 2) I would pester my grandpa for those coin rides or toys. He would always give in to me. Thinking back, it must have meant alot to him, considering the fact that he was already retired and not working.

Back at home, he would always seat down on the bed with his chinese news papers or with a mirror and attempt to pluck his whiskers. It amused me no end as i always loved to mimic him much to his irritation.

When annoyed, grandpa would scold me, once his back was turned, i would make fun of him.

Grandpa lived in a very different world from me. In his time, he saw the world war and the occupation of Singapore by the Japanese. He was originally from china, and he worked very hard to support his family. One of his brothers was even run over by a Japanese Tank while picking up scrapes of food for the household. His was a world of hard work, toil and sweat. He tried hard to fit into my life. A world whereby computers, tv and mass communication flourished.

It was extremely hard for him, yet he did so, so as to identify with me. You see, grandpa was deaf.

Thinking back, grandpa always wanted to live to a ripe old age of 100 yrs old. A task which he tried with all his might. He wanted to see his grand children get married. Sadly grandpa passed away at the age of 82 in Nov 2006.

The last few days were the hardest for me to see him. To see a man reduced to skin and bones. His liver and kidneys had failed. As such, the toxicity in his blood had reached a all time high and was confusing him. On his death bed, we were unable to feed him water. To do so would prolong his suffering and cause him more pain.

It was difficult to see the man who cared for me in such a manner. But Grandpa held on. He waited for all his children and grand children to gather by his side, but still, he would not go.

Everytime when we are around, grandpa's heart beat and pulse would remain steady and constant. But when we are not there, his pulse would steady weaken. Perhaps it was his promise to us that he wanted to live to a hundred. Perhaps he just didn't want to live us behind just yet.. But we knew that he had to go. His time was up.

And we decided, my mum, being his closest and eldest daughter told him to leave. And as we exited his room silently. And when no one was watching, grandpa left.

6 years has gone by. I had taught the pain would have lessen. As i type this now, my tears still come unbiddingly.

I still miss him.

Toughness, Courage and the greatness of a mother's Love..

The Treasure we never cherished..

We all have treasures in our lives. Some are tangible. Others not so. We all place on each of them a value. Some we may cherish more, others less. However, the value of the treasure is not based on how we value it. It is valuable because it is. Its value does not change regardless how we look at it.

Sometimes, we tend to look at the outwards appearance of the treasure. Based on its other appearance, we give it a value.

however despite saying its a foolish thing to do so, we all still do it. Its just human nature. But the wise look deeper within..

So whats this treasure I'm talking about?

I'm talking about parents.

They're worth your everything. They gave you their all.

How often do we treat them as if they're invisible?

Can we even know the extent of their love for us?

Maybe watching the link will tell you more...

2011

Shall I blog again?

I remembered that there was a time when i would love to reflect and pen down my thoughts. But I'm much busier these days. Perhaps i will try to write down my thoughts again.

2NA is really a wonderful class and i love them very much as my own children.

Children are children, sometimes they are naughty and they need to be disciplined.

But at the end, they are still lovable. Everyone of them.

I want to see everyone of you grow up to become great people.

A great person does not need to be rich.

He does not need to do great things.

A great person just need to do one thing.

He/She need to love the people around them. (Not the BGR kind.)

You might ask, how to love? Simple.

E.g.

You see a person in need, maybe need food, water.. some kind of help. What do you do?

You do what you can to help.

For example, if you have $10, just give $1. You don't need to give all that you have. You simply give what you can.

What happens if he/she never do homework? Do you let the person copy?

You can,.. BUT the better way will be to teach the person how to do it.

Its more time consuming, but looks on the positive side. You're revising your work even as you are helping him/her.

Till then, stay cool!

Huat ah!

so far..

Recently, i've been singing this song..

"Down at your feet oh Lord,
Is the most high place.
In your presence Lord,
I seek your face, I seek your face...~

There is no higher calling,
No greater honour,
Than to bow and kneel before Your Throne..~

I'm amazed by Your Glory,
Embraced by Your mercy,
O Lord, I live to worship You..~"


I had forgotten how it was like to just sit down before God and to worship and sing to him. I use to do that. In my uni hostel. I'll take put my guitar, sing, praise worship.. for hours on end. With no clear purpose in mind.

I just wanted to sing to Him.

And God brought back this memory to me, when i was at OPM last week.

He said.. "Will you sing to me once again?.."

My heart broke.

So this holidays I shall do my best to find time, and just to do this. Read my bible what so ever. It doesnt really need any purpose. Not to have divine revalations. Not to have peace of heart.. Not to have anything.

I just want to sing, worship and tell Him, how much I miss Him.. and love Him..
It doesnt matter even if i don't have anything back in return. =)

This is my way of telling Jesus.

I love You.